Maple Insists: Why Truly Me Shoes Are (Mostly) Truly Useless, Part Three

So I'll start up with some more Urban Outfitters outfits to cleanse our visual palette.

Clean off our eyeballs.

Black booties.

Black ankle boots.

Suede or slightly shiny, but not patent.

American Girl?

Hello?

"Oh! Oh! We have some Truly Me brown booties!!!"

Brown?

"Yes!!! Brown!!!"

What do they look like?

"Here they are!!!"

Um.

There's pink _____ on there, man.

Do you see pink _____ on those UO boots? No.

"We have black boots, too!!!"

Really?

Um.

What color is that stitching?

"It's a light mauve."

Light mauve my tiny cloth butt.

That's pink.

"Okay, okay. Black boots. Here you go!"

They look like are made of foam.

Do you have Truly Me black ankle booties?

"How about these????"

Those belong to the farking Bride of Frankenstein costume!!!

And they look like cloth crud with neon stitching.

Do they glow in the dark???

"How about these? They aren't exactly Truly Me...."

When I see these ^^^, I think of....

Those ^^^ are called "Seduce," btw.

And I also think of this....

Which is an awesome musical for those of you who don't have anything against drag queens.

Really American Girl.

Don't make patent leather high boots.

That's just asking for trouble.

"We have other boots!!!"

Really?

"Yes!!!"

I just threw up in my mouth.

It's like you guys gutted a lavender stuffed animal and then asked me to tie it around my foot.

Hey-Zeus, take the wheel.

These will go with 2 of my outfits.

Nice try, but these are not black, nor just solid brown.

How many times do you think I need purple boots?

"We have blue ones too!!!"

Oh thank goodness - the laces are salmon.

Makes them very low-key and simple enough to go with....any soldier blue and deep salmon outfit I own.

I hope those laces are removable.

"We also just released these boots!!!"

All of my prayers have been answered.

They will go with that one winter set you are selling this year, and with nothing else at all.

Like you can't just go with the basic Nordic colors -- tan, white, navy, red, grey, black?

Any or all of those colors would have made these boots amazing.

Remove the orange, the pink, the purple.

They just aren't realistic, American Girl.

It's not like human examples don't exist.

 

 

Sigh.

So you want good boots for your outfits?

What do you do?

Turn to the historical line.

These work with more outfits than the Truly Me options.

And there's always Grace's booties.

But these will be gone soon.

Can't have anything useful sticking around too long....

And Hey-Zeus forbid that something comes without a bow on it....

Stay tuned for Part Four, when I complain more!!!

Yes, I am pretty sure there are still enough wretched shoes for at least one more part in this series...brace yourselves, readers.

Hugs and Kisses,

Maple

Maple Insists: Why Truly Me Shoes Are (Mostly) Truly Useless, Part Two

We return to my discussion of horrid Truly Me shoes.

I mean...Truly Me shoes.

Let's start with sneakers, or sneaker-like shoes.

These ^^^ I am actually okay with.

The sparkle isn't so shiny. It basically becomes a pair of textured grey Vans.

I don't love, love, love them.

But I would buy them.

And they'd probably be useful.

And they sort of remind me of these Marc Jacobs shoes ^^^^. 

So I will accept their existence.

But these cleats-sneakers....

And these purple atrocities....

And...

Oh, yeah can't forget these...

Those things...are not going to go with outfits like these...

Why don't we have just plain black, or plain white, or plain grey sneakers?

Black with white accents.

Converse?

Solid white?

Keds?

Why are these things sold elsewhere but not at American Girl?

Chinese offerings....

And there are dozens more black, white, and gray shoes like this from generic brands online.

Thank you, China. 

For being rational.

These might go with some modern outfits...

As long as that lavender is in the outfit.

But in person, that lavender color looks more pink.

Blech.

Like, really American Girl -- your outfits are flashy enough as is -- they don't need flashy, colorful shoes too. Please, save my retinas.

Speaking of saving my retinas, these...

Um.

Are these supposed to be the AG version of The Back to Future self-lacing Nike shoes???

Um, no. We don't really need them for the dolls.

They are atrociously ugly.

I only want these silver things because they look so bad.

I'm not against wild shoes.

I love wild shoes.

But in the end, when you are trying to style doll outfits -- simple is better.

Simple is the most useful.

Wild goes with one or two outfits.

Simple goes the distance.

Just like Hercules.

And pink. 

NO more pink in shoes American Girl.

Lay off the pink.

Y'alls need to go to a pink rehab clinic.

Stare at people's feet the next time you are out in a crowd of people.

Count how many have pink on their sneakers, and comment here on this post.

One...

Stay tuned for Part Three of me complaining about shoes!!!

Hugs and Kisses,

Maple

Maple Insists: Why Truly Me Shoes Are (Mostly) Truly Useless, Part One

The one thing most American Girl fans will agree on is that their shoes are awesome.

Like really, really awesome.

Most of the company's shoe offerings cannot be matched by anybody else as far as quality and abundance of options.

But my main complaint about those shoes is that often, not always, but often -- the Truly Me shoes are not super useful.

In other words, they don't "go" with a lot of outfits.

Especially outfits that are modern, trendy, chic.

A lot of the Truly Me shoes just don't look super realistic.

Like the Meet Outfit shoes....

We got a pair of these on a #28 we bought recently.

We were like: "Oooo! Blue flats! Oooo!"

We have tried to put these with a ton of outfits.

They don't work with anything.

They don't even work with the Meet Dress they came with.

The color is just too weird.

And then...those striped shoes went on sale.

We ordered them faster than you could say "Hohenzollern."

They come with this outfit...

Which we are never going to buy.

Not even if someone paid me to buy it.

But the shoes ---- oh the shoes!!!

*Grabby hands*

(Why only 4.9 stars??? What about that .1???)

Anyways....ordered the shoes.

The shoes arrive.

And like those blue flats, we try to put them with outfits.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

They just don't go.

So we finally land upon an almost-all-grey outfit for Pixie that the shoes go with.

But this took forever to figure out.

Shirt by The Glam Doll on Etsy.

Leggings by QTPie Doll Clothing on Etsy.

 (Sorry the pics are blurry. Not sure why.)

So grey on grey. With a pop of mint green. And a pop of berry purple.

But these shoes, while super-cute, just don't go with a lot of outfits.

And this is the Truly Me shoe sitch.

These are the types of outfits I want my dolls to be wearing.

(Urban Outfitters, fyi.)

Keep them in mind as I show you these Truly Me shoes....

And complain about them.

So sparkly ^^^^

You'd need an equally flashy outfit.

Something like this....

(A Joey Fatone doll should come as an optional accessory.)

And they can't just be silver sparkly shoes -- no, they have to have a touch of coral at the heel so they really, REALLY don't go with anything.

Useless.

These ^^^.

I have complained about these on Instagram before because they come with a camping outfit.

A summer CAMPING outfit.

Are you kidding me?!?!

Are you kidding me?!?!

They look like they should be paired with this....

And I'm sorry, but I just don't have the right size boobs for that dress.

 Okay these ^^^.

I could see them with something like this....

IF they didn't have those massive flowers that make them look like you can only wear them if you are a 2-yr-old flower girl at a wedding.

These girls need shoes. Give these to them.

I'll take the version of those peach sandals that don't have floral accents, thank you very mucho.

Flip flops.

We all need flip flops.
Even the Pope needs flip flops.

But really? This purple barely goes with any other colors.

How are we supposed to have more than one bathing suit that goes with these?

And other summer outfits?

It's a struggle. A real struggle.

While I like the addition of "bracelets" built in to these -- the bold colors of the beadwork add another layer of -- how do I make these go with anything??? problems.

Sure, slap your doll in some jean shorts.

But with these, the outfit will look instantly toy-like and cheesy.

Although, I always wanted a pair of shoes to match my flip flop keychain....

And next....

OMG ^^^^

What the ______ am I supposed to do with these plastic nightmares???

Let me buy this outfit first...to go with them...

No, I mean really...

If the lime green color wasn't enough -- the chunk of shiny (REALLY OBVIOUS) plastic as the wedge really puts the nail in this cobbler's coffin.

They look so fake and unrealistic.

Just. No.

Stay tuned for Part Two of me complaining!!!

 p.s. If you don't like to read rants, you should probably stay away from any "Maple Insists" posts in the footure. Jfyi.

Hugs and Kisses,

Maple