Maple Insists: Christmas Ornaments, The Bad...

Hello again everybody!

I am back with the continuation of 
my festive Christmas ornament posts!

Bask in my glory!!!

This is my previous post:

http://thedollwardrobe.blogspot.com/2015/12/maple-insists-christmas-ornaments-good.html

(^^^ Read it if you haven't yet, you lazy sod.)

Today I discuss the "bad" ornaments I found 

while I was perusing the 'net for doll-size things.

First up...

Is a mini Santa mug ornament with "hot cocoa" 

and a star-shaped "marshmallow" inside of it.

This is very small:

1" W x 0.69" H x 0.75" D

So it might work for the dolls, but it may even be too tiny for them!

One of the online reviews stated:

"It looked weird in the pictures with the wink, 

but the wink in person looks so much nicer!"

Really?

Really?

Really?

To us it just looks plain creepy.
The wink isn't helping any.

Creepy Santa says: "Stay away from my cocoa or I'll cut you."
*Wink*

-- That's what I thought of when I saw this puppy.

And also, there is the macabre situation of drinking 

a steaming hot beverage out of Santa's head...cough, cough.

Plus, why is Santa wearing so much lipstick?

I'll let y'alls ponder that one on your own.

Next...

You remember the nutcrackers from World Market that we posted about previously?

And we mentioned that it is difficult to find a non-terrifying nutcracker?

Well, this is why...

I call this the "Prostate Exam Nutcracker."

This is the face he makes right after he asks the doctor: 

"Where are you going to put your hand?!?!?!"

You could also label him "Electrocution Nutcracker."

Or "Acid Trip Nutcracker."

But really, in general -- all those names come down to one thing -- why would you want this incredibly non-comforting-looking-thing on your Christmas tree?

To scare Grandpa and give him a heart attack?

Really people, these things are Christmas decor, 

not Halloween decor.

Get your Nutcracker act together, Hallmark.

The worst thing is that it's not just Hallmark - 

most of the Nutcracker ornaments I found looked 

just like this one with that face of utter shock right before 

you get run over by Santa's reindeer.

Poor guy.

Third for today...

Are the most-pathetic-looking cat ornaments in the world.

I'm always on the look out for ornaments 

that could be stuffed toys or pets for the dolls, but...

These are like the Christmas ornament versions 

of those Sarah McLachlan commercials.

Why are their front legs so short?!?!?

What happened to these things?!?!

And what are they looking at?

Are they looking up into the heavens for the sweet release of death?

Or are they just looking at me to give them the food and medicine they so desperately need?

Gosh, so pathetic.

I feel pain in my soul just looking at the pics, never mind putting them on my tree.

Speaking of sad cat ornaments...

Yes.

Someone made that ^^^.

And a company is trying to sell it.

My goodness.

The earlier ones just looked like they needed a good cuddle.

This one looks like it needs Zoloft.

I don't understand -- is this supposed to be cute?

It just looks so depressed it is making me depressed.

I feel like they made the cat first -- realized it was horribly sad-looking -- 

and then someone in corporate was like -- 

"Well, just throw a red hat on it!!! That will make it festive!!!"

No, no it doesn't.

The hat just makes me wonder why this sad cat is wearing a hat.

Yeesh.

And lastly for today...

This is the part where children should stop reading and leave the room.

Are they gone yet?

For fox sake, get them out of the room.

"OBGYN Appt. Fox"

Why does a fox's legs need to be spread so very, very wide?

And why are they so very, very short?

Again, it's like someone designed the fox, 

and then realized it was presenting itself for an annual Pap exam, 

and was like -- "Oh Noes!!!!"

 -- and then made the front legs A LOT longer 

so that they would block the crotch shot.

Just, why?

Why?

Why?

You don't know what a fox looks like?

Do you see a lot of them sitting around 

in the wilderness like this, airing out their nethers?

Someone at Pottery Barn needs a subscription to ZooBooks 

so they can figure out the natural poses of foxes...

________

Alright, I'm done for today.

Phew. That was hard work.

Stay tuned for Part Three: "Christmas Ornaments, The Ugly..."

Yep, they get worse.

Thanks for visiting us today friends!!!

Trends to Sew: A Better Version of Lea's Meet Outfit, Hollister

Now some of you might not be able to stand Hollister, but I don't really get that.

Their clothes are awesome.

Their stores are horrid.

They reek of cheap cologne and then all of the 

clothing takes on that smell and it is horrid.

But the clothing is awesome.

Just buy direct from online.

Then it won't smell.

Also, they have really good sales throughout the year.

So I recommend following the sales closely, buying their products cheap...

(online, NOT in the store where it smells like 

a high school boys' locker room after everyone pretends 

to shave their face and uses 300 gallons of aftershave)

...and then cutting up the merchandise, de-constructing it, and 

then re-constructing it into doll clothes.

Of course, that's only if the fabric is in an appropriate scale.

So that's what I recommend.

Hollister is based on Southern California beach-life style.

So I thought this would be a great company to go to for 

warm-weather clothing for Lea - our warm-weather GOTY 2106.

And Hollister is "beachy" without being "touristy" and garish.

I don't like garish.

Blergghhh.

So here are some Hollister sleeveless dress options...

Again we see the Skater Dress

Similar to the one we saw from Urban Outfitters, but this one is a bit more simplistic in it's styling -- sort of like a cross between the UO turquoise and mint dresses we looked at in yesterday's post.

What you are looking for is that fit and flare design.

Hug the bodice, but flare out at the waistline and 

give the skirt some good quality draping.

Sure, shift and swing dresses are popular right now.

But honestly we don't think they'd work very well on the dolls.

Yes, you can try these swing styles:

BUT

BUT

BUT

It helps to have boobs with those style dresses to make them 

feminine and not look like you are a toddler.

BOOBS

BOOBS

BOOBS

BOOBS

And guess what?

The AG dolls don't have boobs.

They don't even have waists!

So sometimes putting them in something that looks 

exactly like their body shape isn't very helpful.

Like this...

That's not going to look terribly flattering on them either.

Anyways...where was I?

Right...sleeveless dresses....

Next up...the "Must-Have" Ribbed Dress

Hollister named it that, not me, haha.

But it is very, very flattering.

Two "colors" that I think would work well for Lea are 

the blue and cream "nautical" one, and the ribbed grey one.

So first of all, I posted the complete outfits, styled with the jacket and with the shirt 

around the waist so you can mimic these stylings yourself.

And with the shoes included, so you can 

figure out what shoes to put with this.

I'm not saying you can't figure it out on your own, 

but just in case you wanted some ideas. ;-)

Second, to me, the key concept behind this dress's design is that princess seaming, 

on the front AND the back.

Most seamstresses are going to make those in stiffer fabrics, not ribbed knit.

But that's the beauty of it here.

It adds a lot of contour and shape to this dress.

So it doesn't just hang on the model - it's constructed around her curves, 

without forcing curves to be somewhere where they aren't.

Hence, princess seaming in a ribbed knit fabric dress can help 

to suggest curves on the doll's bodies, giving them more realism.

I'm not saying to make a dress that gives the doll fake boobs. No.

Just that a shapely dress is typically more flattering on the dolls.

Wow...I talked about that for awhile...

And last, but not least from Hollister...

The "Easy Denim Jumper"

Overalls, shortalls, and jumpers are very much in fashion.

So despite this not being a floral, tropical flavor -- 

I think this is a great warm-weather, beachy option for Lea.

If you get the scale of the buttons and stitching right, and the perfect slant to the pockets,

this can look very realistic and trendy.

Obviously I wouldn't design it to have that shelf for the boobs, because as stated above - the AG dolls don't have boobs - but other than that, I'd design it as close to the human original as possible.

It has just the right level of sophistication that it 

doesn't look cheesy or for a 4-yr-old;

but it's also not so posh that it looks like some high-end designer space-age thing.

Nice and homey and comforting, while also being feminine and flattering.

Alright, I think I've whined long enough about sleeveless dresses.

Stay tuned for more Lea Wardrobe Substitution Suggestions!

(Say that ten times fast, haha)

Thanks for visiting us today friends!

Trends to Sew: A Better Version of Lea's Meet Outfit, Urban Outfitters

Welcome back, friends.

Again, I'm not gonna post a pic of Lea's Meet Outfit before Jan. 1st and risk the wrath of AG.

But basically it is an all-over "tribal" tropical print dress with yellow, fuschia, and turquoise as it's primary colors. But it's kinda all over the place as far as colors.

It is a tank dress, has double-rope straps over her shoulders, and has a "belt" just in the front of the dress. According to the pics online, the pattern on the fabric doesn't even line up on the back of the dress. I hope that's not true of the real dress.

Basically this is a dress for sunshiney locations and palm trees (as Lea's story takes place mostly in Brazil, or something along those lines).

It's like a Carnival dress, except for every day life.

Yeah, like ^^^ the one in the center, on the singer.

I'm not even joking.

Okay, some of you are now saying -- 

"Noooo!!! It doesn't look like that at all!!!"

Well, to us, the best description of it is a bathing suit cover-up -- 

if you don't want to go with the Carnival dress analogy...cough, cough.

Anyways.....can you tell we don't like it???

***Edited to add...***

Okay, now you can see it in all of it's "glory"

I could go into the thousand reasons why we don't like Lea's Meet Outfit -- but the point of this post is to give you sewing ideas. So instead we'll talk about sleeveless dress options for you to think about.

Yes....

You want your Lea to have a sleeveless dress, 

but not the atrocity that's being released on Jan. 1st???

You want something casual, relaxed, not too short, not too mature-looking (you're not going clubbing), sorta bright and beach-friendly, but not so beachy that you can't wear it other places....

Then here are some trendy sleeveless dresses for you to sew!

From Urban Outfitters....

#1 Fit and Flare style.

"Charming mini velvet fit + flare dress with a lace-up back, by Silence + Noise. In a soft + stretchy velvet knit for cozy-but-cute partying. Fit with skinny straps that adjust to the perfect fit. Finished with chiffon hems + a square neck."

Can be made in a variety of fabrics, but you'll need something 

with significant drape for the skirt to look right.

The way to really sell this is to make that back construction as accurate and realistic as possible, and to allow the design to be layered over a tight shirt, as in the pics, so you're doll can wear this in multiple seasons.

#2 Babydoll Swingy Flare style.

"Easy breezy printed babydoll dress from Kimchi Blue with a floaty high/low hem. 

The Florence dress features a swingy silhouette with a high neckline and button-topped keyhole cut out at the back."

I would make this longer, not as short.

As passerbys don't need to see doll crotches....cough, cough.

But it is a beautiful dress, with a lovely summery, floaty feeling.

Again, making that keyhole back design is part of the key (get it?) 

to getting this look right in your doll clothing.

High, simple, flat necklines are very popular in 

dresses and shirts this year -- so take note of that.

And of course, that high-low concept is important as well -- which everyone thought would be a 5-second trend -- but guess what? it's still here!!!

#3 Another Fit and Flare style.

"Cozy-casual fit + flare dress from staple collection BDG. Ribbed knit featuring a fitted bodice and a short + swingy mini skirt finished with a banded scoop-neck and racerback."

Yes, this has a waffley-knit fabric that screams "winter" -- but really, everything else about this dress screams beach -- and the combination is kinda refreshing.

This is a great dress for warm weather -- without looking like an obnoxious tourist.

The little details to copy here include that unique bodice construction which cuts down into the skirt and allows for those beautiful drapery effects.

This ^^^ is one of those designs that looks really simple and easy to the consumer -- 

but in reality, it's challenging to create. 

But it's worth the effort!!!

#4 Fit and Flare with Tied Back

"Super sweet crepe fit + flare dress from romantic-femme label Kimchi Blue with skinny straps that thread through + bow at the plunging back. Topped with a flattering V-neck at the fitted bodice + a twirl-worthy A-line skirt that tapers out at the waist."

What makes this dress sing?

The V-shaped empire waistline right under the chest that meets the V-neckline.

X marks the spot friends!

This is a beautiful design, and the proper construction 

will give you lovely drape in the skirt.

And that deep turquoise is just perfect. 

I'd love to see a doll version of this on Lea; 

with her medium skin tone I think it would look fantastic.

#5 Skater Dress style

Similar to above, but you can see the difference in the bodice and waistline construction, which makes an amazing amount of difference in how the dress lays on the body.

This skater dress design is very popular this season, 

and we are seeing it in a lot of fabrics:

I think this soft mint would look beautiful on Lea.

#6 Ruffle Wrap Style

"Classic-femme voile wrap ruffle dress by our ever-romantic Kimchi Blue label. The Sabina dress features a deep surplice neck + bottom tulip hem, both trimmed with floaty ruffles with a fixed wrap waist for easy on + off. Detailed with a lace-up racerback with brass-tipped ties for an adjustable fit. Finished with a clasp-topped zip closure at the side."

This one makes me want to move to Miami so I can wear it all year long, 

without looking like a freak....cough, cough.

These beautiful purples would look gorgeous on Lea.

It has a very unique back construction, 

that I think would be worth copying for the dolls.

There's a reason why clothing companies make those fancy dress backs -- and it's not just to frustrate people who want to make doll versions of things.

It's so the customer doesn't look at it and say -- "I can get that sundress anywhere. 

I don't have to buy it from UO."

Oh yes, you do -- if you want that cool back you have to buy it from UO, you silly goose.

So detailing like that is what makes a company's products 

more buy-able than their competitors.

This ruffle wrap dress also comes in polka dots, and that fabric allows 

you to see the construction of it a bit better.

Are your creative-brain-wheels turning yet?

I hope so!

Stay tuned for a second part to 

"A Better Version of Lea's Meet Outfit."

Thank you for visiting us today friends!!!