...was that I really wanted to start writing more.
And not just blog posts, but more like an online journal, or something.
Basically using writing as self-therapy.
My proposed journal title was "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression."
I haven't quite crafted that yet - but don't steal the title, I'll still use it. ;-)
I am a (very) depressed person.
More depressed probably than my doctor ever realized.
But I can't take medication, because my body has other medical problems.
So the drugs make me sick.
So I'm not on drugs.
So I have to come up with alternatives.
One of the most useless and useful alternatives for me is writing.
(Yes, you read that right - useless and useful.)
Useless because you have to write in order for it to be useful - but I end up spending more time feeling guilty about NOT writing which depresses me and STOPS me from writing.
Derp.
So it is both, unfortunately.
It's not just me.
A lot of people find writing therapeutic.
But is hard work.
And frustrating.
And it's never as good as you want it to be.
But you should write if you want to.
As a friend told me - you should write for yourself.
(Harold's butt)
It took me a few weeks after the April 9th Whinefest, but I finally sat down and told myself that I had to use that 750words.com website that I pay $5 a month for.
I had to write at least 750 words a day.
And I had to get all that cr*p that was floating around my head all day out onto the page or else I was going to go even more insane than I already am.
The first project I wanted to accomplish was
the April 2016 edition of Maple's Fantastic (ally Inappropriate) Planner.
This planner was an idea that I've had since #maplesharshrelationshipadvice started to become popular on Instagram very fast, and faster than I could keep up with it.
By popular I mean ten people or more asking Maple for advice a day - which is ten people more than I can keep up with evidently, haha.
So I was easily overwhelmed by the creative project I had created for myself.
Derp again.
Her advice is something I still want to do on Instagram, I just need to remember not to do it 24-7.
I don't actually get paid to do it, haha.
And it eats up my time and mental energy.
Once you start it up, the requests increase exponentially.
So I thought the planner would be a nice way to get Maple's voice out there for readers.
By some miracle, I did accomplish the April planner.
I'm still not sure how.
Buy it here if you want it:
It costs $1.99.
Maple and I are already working on the May edition.
So apparently that's going okay.
The miracle continues, somehow.
No one has bought the April planner yet - but I wrote it for myself really.
(I need to keep reminding myself of that fact.
As I am too concerned about "success" -
even though I know that "success" is really relative.)
I know that it's really my dedication to writing at least 750 words a day that has helped me be more productive in my writing.
Even if it is just Maple's silly planner. Haha.
(Julia again, with globe)
I am on a 43-day streak with the writing.
And I have written over 60k words of a novel that
I've been wanting to finish for about the last eleven years.
That novel is Maple's Fantastic Stories: The House of Coventry.
Which I have a blog about, started back during one of the times when I was trying to work on it like it was my job. (Even though it wasn't - no one pays me to write this cr*p.)
As I worked on her planner, Maple's voice kept talking to me about the novel.
And the two started to blend and morph, and suddenly
I was working on The House of Coventry.
For 60k words.
I would like to have at least 100k words by June 24th.
I don't know if that will happen.
But as my mother says: "It's good to have goals."
The story has changed a bit from what I was drafting on Maple's story blog.
But that's okay. That happens.
Stella is still there though.
And Maple has a much stronger presence, as the author, and puppet-master.
I used to just let her write it from behind the curtain, so-to-speak.
But she wanted to participate more actively.
More than I realized she wanted to.
So now she's in front of the curtain.
Or rather she just tore down the curtain.
Typical Maple.
But sometimes you just have to write what pops into your head.
I can't say this book will be good.
It certainly won't be great.
But I would like to finish it. Edit it. And sell it here on the blog.
And perhaps I can feel like I have accomplished something with my life.
As I am reminded every day that life is not as long as you think it will be.
Unfortunately I had to ignore a lot of things when I was doing the writing - and as I continue with it - because I am really, really horrible at multitasking.
Like really horrible.
I ignored the blog, my Instagram, my Facebook, my Pinterest, my household chores and duties, my life partner/person I share a toilet with, my personal hygiene. Haha.
(I mean, not that last one, cough, cough.)
(Harold and a banananananana)
So moving forward I will try and produce more posts for the blog.
But until I get that 100k words, or rather, until I get to the logical conclusion of that novel - I may still be a bit MIA.
Sigh.
I wish I could clone myself and do all the things I want to do, while also having one clone sit around and eat ice cream while watching British murder mysteries all day.
But I can't.
So I'll just try to accomplish one goal at a time. :-/
I'm sorry that this isn't the most inspiring story -
but I really do recommend that people write at least 750 words a day.
A journal? Maybe? 750 words of nonsense? That works too.
Okay, so one of the things I have been thinking about writing is an online journal.
(Like I needed more stuff on my to-do list that I will never accomplish.)
(Random picture of flowers ^^^ to get your attention.)
Yes, I spend most of my day thinking about things I want to write about. No - scratch that - I spend most of my day feeling sorry for myself.
But in a lot of the other moments I am thinking about things I want to write about.
But then when I actually have some time that I could sit down and write - I don't do it.
There's a lot of reasons for this, which is mostly what my journal would be about, haha. But the basic truth is that I don't have the mental energy to do it.
Right now the only way I am capable of writing this is by drinking 12 cups of coffee. Basically a whole giant pot of coffee. In a few hours. And then I am productive.
Yeah.... if I don't have the coffee, I lay in bed all day thinking about all the things I have to do. But not doing them, and then feeling guilty for not doing them.
Anyway -- I even titled my journal --
"Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression."
Yeah, that was initially depression.
But then I mistyped it and it came out derpression,
and I was like - yeah, that's about it, so let's keep it.
And I started an Amazon "Write On" account (online self-publishing website) -
to publish this journal online.
And I started the journal. And I wrote a crapton of stuff.
But I never published any of it.
And my thoughts always returned to this blog.
Which is my blog - so it can be whatever I want it to be - but it is supposed to be about dolls.
But it is really my creative outlet.
So I should use it as such.
And instead of starting 600 online accounts elsewhere, I should write here - right?
I don't know if I should write this crap here or not.
But I decided to concentrate my efforts on this blog instead of spreading myself too thin.
So here we are.
And if you want to read my blithering crap, please feel free to keep reading.
;-)
So I could have titled this Honest Editorial - "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression" - but I went with 750 words instead.
Mostly because "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression"
is a pain in the butt to type out.
But also because I want the "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression" to be about 750 words long each time.
This is based upon "The Artist's Way" and "The Right to Write" - two books by Julia Cameron.
They are both designed to help you be more creative - in your every day life, and for your job - whatever it may be.
Cameron's most famous piece of advice is to long-hand write 3 pages every day - she calls them "Morning Pages."
Wake up. Sit down. Take out a notebook and a writing implement. And pour out whatever comes to mind for 3 pages. It's self-therapy. It's a form of meditation. It's life-changing - or so Julia says.
And I believe it. When I have actually dedicated myself to the 3-pages rule - I have been much more creative. Thought processes open up in my mind. I feel a flow. I sleep better. I dream more vividly.
However, they aren't going to end my depression. Or my derpression.
But they help. And they are one step you can take.
However I am a lazy, lazy non-functioning bum.
So I don't do my morning pages.
I suck at doing them actually.
So it's kind of ironic that I am telling you to do them.
But that's how this weird world works sometimes. ;-)
Which comes from Julia's 3 pages idea. Except they break that down into 750 words (the typed equivalent of 3 pages according to them).
So every day you go into the website and you type in your 750 words (or more) and they log them and save them. And they mark down your progress. And you can earn badges.
And badges are great - despite that movie that said we don't need them. You feel like you are accomplishing something, and you are part of a group of people out there all doing the same thing you are doing.
What you type doesn't matter. It could be random thoughts. It could be a story. It could be whining. Or a laundry list. Or it could be a blog post for a doll blog that you suck at running. Just type.
750words.com is free for 30 days and after that it is $5 a month.
If you find that it works for you, and helps you clear your mind and function better - $5 is really not that much to give in exchange for a bit of mental wellness.
You just have to use the website, haha.
Which I pay my monthly dues.
And basically use it only a few days a month.
Because I suck.
Like March.
Me at the beginning of March --
"Yes. Okay. New month. March. I'm gonna do this every day. Yes."
Me at the end of March --
"Oh man. That sucked. I only did two days. Where did March go? Damn."
So do a better job at your 750 words than I do.
And if the website doesn't work for you, it doesn't work.
That's what the free trial is for.
Honestly, I find that I write long-hand slower than my mind works. So while I love writing long-hand, and it is much more satisfying and meditative for me personally - the computer and that website allow me to write faster and be more accurate with my racing, crazy thoughts.
So use what works best for you.
Personally, I do a mixture.
(When I actually manage to write.)
I often jot down notes and thoughts in notebooks, but then use the computer to really work on something fast or make it a more complete product.
Anyway - here we are at 828 words and counting or something. So I will cut myself off.
My point for today was -- I want to write an online journal and share it with everyone because I am a narcissistic arsehole who thinks everyone wants to know what I write about.
So expect more of these 750 words posts from me,
which will probably have varying titles....but will basically be "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression." ;-)
