Okay, so one of the things I have been thinking about writing is an online journal.
(Like I needed more stuff on my to-do list that I will never accomplish.)
(Random picture of flowers ^^^ to get your attention.)
Yes, I spend most of my day thinking about things I want to write about. No - scratch that - I spend most of my day feeling sorry for myself.
But in a lot of the other moments I am thinking about things I want to write about.
But then when I actually have some time that I could sit down and write - I don't do it.
There's a lot of reasons for this, which is mostly what my journal would be about, haha. But the basic truth is that I don't have the mental energy to do it.
Right now the only way I am capable of writing this is by drinking 12 cups of coffee. Basically a whole giant pot of coffee. In a few hours. And then I am productive.
Yeah.... if I don't have the coffee, I lay in bed all day thinking about all the things I have to do. But not doing them, and then feeling guilty for not doing them.
Anyway -- I even titled my journal --
"Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression."
Yeah, that was initially depression.
But then I mistyped it and it came out derpression,
and I was like - yeah, that's about it, so let's keep it.
And I started an Amazon "Write On" account (online self-publishing website) -
to publish this journal online.
And I started the journal. And I wrote a crapton of stuff.
But I never published any of it.
And my thoughts always returned to this blog.
Which is my blog - so it can be whatever I want it to be - but it is supposed to be about dolls.
But it is really my creative outlet.
So I should use it as such.
And instead of starting 600 online accounts elsewhere, I should write here - right?
I don't know if I should write this crap here or not.
But I decided to concentrate my efforts on this blog instead of spreading myself too thin.
So here we are.
And if you want to read my blithering crap, please feel free to keep reading.
So I could have titled this Honest Editorial - "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression" - but I went with 750 words instead.
Mostly because "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression"
is a pain in the butt to type out.
But also because I want the "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression" to be about 750 words long each time.
This is based upon "The Artist's Way" and "The Right to Write" - two books by Julia Cameron.
They are both designed to help you be more creative - in your every day life, and for your job - whatever it may be.
Cameron's most famous piece of advice is to long-hand write 3 pages every day - she calls them "Morning Pages."
Wake up. Sit down. Take out a notebook and a writing implement. And pour out whatever comes to mind for 3 pages. It's self-therapy. It's a form of meditation. It's life-changing - or so Julia says.
And I believe it. When I have actually dedicated myself to the 3-pages rule - I have been much more creative. Thought processes open up in my mind. I feel a flow. I sleep better. I dream more vividly.
However, they aren't going to end my depression. Or my derpression.
But they help. And they are one step you can take.
However I am a lazy, lazy non-functioning bum.
So I don't do my morning pages.
I suck at doing them actually.
So it's kind of ironic that I am telling you to do them.
But that's how this weird world works sometimes. ;-)
I did find a website called 750words.com.
Which comes from Julia's 3 pages idea. Except they break that down into 750 words (the typed equivalent of 3 pages according to them).
So every day you go into the website and you type in your 750 words (or more) and they log them and save them. And they mark down your progress. And you can earn badges.
And badges are great - despite that movie that said we don't need them. You feel like you are accomplishing something, and you are part of a group of people out there all doing the same thing you are doing.
What you type doesn't matter. It could be random thoughts. It could be a story. It could be whining. Or a laundry list. Or it could be a blog post for a doll blog that you suck at running. Just type.
750words.com is free for 30 days and after that it is $5 a month.
If you find that it works for you, and helps you clear your mind and function better - $5 is really not that much to give in exchange for a bit of mental wellness.
You just have to use the website, haha.
Which I pay my monthly dues.
And basically use it only a few days a month.
Because I suck.
Me at the beginning of March --
"Yes. Okay. New month. March. I'm gonna do this every day. Yes."
Me at the end of March --
"Oh man. That sucked. I only did two days. Where did March go? Damn."
So do a better job at your 750 words than I do.
And if the website doesn't work for you, it doesn't work.
That's what the free trial is for.
Honestly, I find that I write long-hand slower than my mind works. So while I love writing long-hand, and it is much more satisfying and meditative for me personally - the computer and that website allow me to write faster and be more accurate with my racing, crazy thoughts.
So use what works best for you.
Personally, I do a mixture.
(When I actually manage to write.)
I often jot down notes and thoughts in notebooks, but then use the computer to really work on something fast or make it a more complete product.
Anyway - here we are at 828 words and counting or something. So I will cut myself off.
My point for today was -- I want to write an online journal and share it with everyone because I am a narcissistic arsehole who thinks everyone wants to know what I write about.
So expect more of these 750 words posts from me,
which will probably have varying titles....but will basically be "Brain (Non)Activity: My Journal of Pain and Derpression." ;-)
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Reading This Meaningless Nonsense!