The Doll Wardrobe: Maple Insists

Showing posts with label Maple Insists. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Maple Insists: Etsy and Infringement? Aka, Why Matt...el and A...G Sux

So I'm lazy.

Yes, it's me, Maple - How could you tell?

Oh, because I said I am lazy - yes, yes, it's me - and yes, I am lazy.

So at the beginning of August the news went around that American Girl® was executing a crackdown on any handmade shops, etc. that were using "American Girl" in their listings.

It was really AG/Mattel forcing Etsy to police item listings and shops so that no one was infringing upon AG's copyright/trademark.

Since I was pretty much clueless about all of this stuff

I waited to see what happened before reporting back to you guys (all five of my readers).

The basic thing is...

You can't blatantly use the word "American Girl" in your Etsy listings, your webstore, etc. in a way that could be construed as you selling an actual American Girl product.

You should say 18" doll.

And don't blatantly use "WellieWishers" or anything close to that.

Go with 14" doll there.

You can say things like:

For 18" play dolls such as American Girl®.

But then you have to say you are not affiliated with American Girl®.

On every listing.

(I'm gonna make stickers of that ^^^ and place them all over my body.)

And everywhere you say American Girl® be sure

to use that registered trademark symbol ---> ®.

You can say things like: For 14" Play dolls such as WellieWishers™.

But then say that you aren't affiliated with WellieWishers™.

Etc. Etc.

Or your listings could be deactivated, your shop deactivated, etc.

Yes, the Mattel and AG copyright/trademark po-po

(police) has come around again.

They are protecting what is rightfully theirs.

Which is their right.

*Insert applause and back-slapping so that

the lawyers feel they have done a good job*

This happens all the time.

It seems like a handful of sellers get targeted, yelled at, "punished," etc.

Their stores are never really "closed" permanently - but it can often be a very successful scare tactic to shutdown someone's listings and make it a giant pain-in-the-a** to reactivate them, get your store back up and running, etc. etc.

They don't make it an easy fix.

And they don't really help you fix it easily and painlessly.

At least, that is what I can see.

What I see is a bunch of handmade sellers panicking and heartbroken.

Something they love has turned around and bit them in the butt.

Dear Mattel and AG and Etsy,

Does this have to be so traumatic on people?

Can't you simply message people to change their listings?

I'm probably missing something here,

but this is why I say they suck in the title of this post.

It comes down to making people feel like they can't sell handmade stuff - or off-brand stuff, etc. - and what's the point of that?

Your brand, American Girl®, can stay healthy and relevant if you allow people to create a whole little ecosystem around it.

And if your brand, American Girl®, didn't sell such fugly doll clothing, people wouldn't be on Etsy looking for less-fugly doll clothing.

^^^ IMHO. ^^^

But in the end, when doing searches for doll clothes - keep 18" doll in mind, fits 18" doll, made for 18" dolls, etc. etc.

And if you have been hit with this copyright stuff, don't be too discouraged.

Keep sewing and crafting and creating.

And keep selling.

Don't let the corporations stop you.

Keep pushing forward.

Make the changes to your listings, and your tags, etc.

But keep selling.

Do whatever you have to do.

In the future I expect AG/Mattel to start cracking down on listings that use AG dolls as models - as they do this with other companies online that have used AG dolls as models.

So keep that in mind.

But until someone tells you to stop using AG dolls as models,

I would keep using them so that people know how your items fit on the AGs.

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Just keep swimming friends.

Just keep swimming.

p.s. This blog is in no way affiliated with American Girl®.

p.p.s Even if they asked me, this blog would

never be affiliated with American Girl® in any way.

If it was, I couldn't sit here and type words like "sux" or "sucks" or "fugly."

Monday, June 6, 2016

Maple Insists: Why the Lea Movie Trailer Made Me Cringe

Yo, whassup peoples?

Today it's me, Maple here talking in a rude manner about stuff.

That is the point of the "Maple Insists" posts, usually.

So I was going to talk about how boring AG's 2016 releases are
(and I still will in the future) - but first!

First!

I have to talk about that Lea movie trailer
I just watched as I was prepping the post on the 2016 releases.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NskaiTeJZn0

Now y'alls may have already been talking about this online everywhere -
but I'm late the party, per usual.

So I apologize in advance (not really) for repeating
anything someone else has already said out there online.

Topic #1 - Doll vs. Girl

We bought a Lea doll - or rather one was gifted to us (becuz we is poor).

And she is beautiful.

(^^^ "I'm so pretty you want to lick my eyeballs, don't you???")

We'd like to get another Lea doll to de-wig and use as a wig swapping custom.

But the doll looks nothing, nothing, nothing like the actress in the Lea movie.

They really couldn't find a mediocre child actress that looked like the doll?

Really? No? They don't exist?

^^^ That girl is as pale as the underside of my foot.

And yet, the doll has the medium skin tone...hmmm.

I sense more evidence of the ongoing struggle AG has with
recognizing that the world has more than just white people in it.

Also, each of the covers of the Lea books looks like a different girl.

(^^^ Lea: "Gosh, I hope that sloth pees on my head

as this divine light floods down from the heavens.

It's a fetish I have, I admit it."

Sloth: "That girl looks like she wants to lick my eyeballs...")

(^^^ "I fart sea turtles. I am magic.")

(^^^ "Why do I have to pose with this brown girl???

And I have to touch her arm???

But her dark skin tone might rub off on me!!!

Noooo!!!!")

(*Touches other girl's arm like she has a skin disease*)

(*Plasters on fake-psychotic smile*)

(*Brown girl starts crying while still smiling for the camera,

and whispers curse words into Lea's ear*)

Anyway, the girls on those 3 covers are not the same girl.

Like maybe sisters, but not the same girl.

And definitely not the girl in the movie.

And in the illustrated versions Lea's head is too big for her body.

Like, c'mon - learn about body proportions illustrate-y peeps.

But my main point is - AG needs to get better about
making all of these "girls of the year" look like the same girl.

And my biggest peeve about this:
They cast a 100% white white white whitey white girl as Lea -
who is supposed to be "mixed race."

Siiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhh.

Topic #2: Lea is a Remarkable Film

After watching the trailer for the movie, I would label it as remarkable.

As in, it's remarkable how little acting ability these people have.

Watch it.

It's like they are all just reading from cue cards
and their personalities forgot to show up for work.

Topic #3: The Man Who is Clearly a Woman

Lea's brother is a woman, right?

Because I think (s)he is ^^^.

I'm okay with that.

But they should really be using the proper pronoun for her.

Topic #4: Not All Brazilians Are Starving to Death During this Economic Recession

I don't think it's politically correct to have a starving person play the Brazilian girlfriend.

I mean are they trying to say that there is no food in Brazil???

Just look at how skinny she is ^^^.

I'm half-afraid she's going to eat Lea in order to survive.

She is so small.

And defenseless.

And pale.

I heard pale people taste the best.

Especially with some honey mustard sauce.

And speaking of cannibalism...

No, no - they don't quite bring that into the trailer....

But they really aren't that concerned about being sensitive to Brazilian ethnic groups...

Topic #5: Lea Meets "Jungle 2 Jungle"

Let's just look at some screen captures,
and you tell me what you think about them...

So what did you think?

Any deep thoughts???

I expect a 7,000-word essay on your feelings on my desk by Monday.

^^^ My face after watching this trailer....

Painful stereotype after painful stereotype marched across my screen.

The only thing missing is Tarzan (though he lives in Africa, not Brazil, jfyi.)

No, no I haven't actually watched the Lea movie,

so I'm not sure of the context of all of those screen captures I just posted.

But the whole time I watched the trailer I kept having flashbacks

to that "Jungle 2 Jungle" movie with Tim Allen -

which was honestly one of the most racist movies

I watched during my childhood.

Someone smart on the Internet wrote this about "Jungle 2 Jungle":
"The movie peddles heavily in insensitive stereotypes about natives being clueless savages who do things like eat pet fish straight from the fish tank and always walk around barefoot in war paint."

This is from http://www.attn.com/stories/7393/childhood-movies-that-are-racist

They could have been talking about the Lea movie,
from what I saw in the trailer.

"Jungle 2 Jungle" is from 1997, and was

clearly made by idiots for an idiotic American public.

But it's been 19 years.

And the Lea movie is supposed to be produced by a company concerned about education, and positivity, and doing what is right.

The thing about "Jungle 2 Jungle" is when I first saw it
I was a child and didn't know it was racist.

As a child, I really didn't understand what racism was.

So here is a new film - for children - which seems to be showing us the same stereotypes.

And my question is - like the little me back in 1997 - will these children
also not realize that what they are watching is racist?

Okay, okay.

Labeling a film I haven't seen yet as racist is jumping the gun.

I'll admit this.

But after you watch the Lea movie when it comes out on June 14th,
read through this whole article:
http://www.attn.com/stories/7393/childhood-movies-that-are-racist

And then watch the Lea movie again.

Thank you for visiting us today!!!

______________________

Hey plebes,

Buy the April 2016 edition
of my Fantastic (ally Inappropriate) Planner!!!

(In return, I won't steal your beloved family pet
like I was planning on doing.)

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Maple Insists:
Christmas Ornaments, The Ugly...

If you haven't been following this series of posts, here are the previous two:

http://thedollwardrobe.blogspot.com/2015/12/maple-insists-christmas-ornaments-good.html

http://thedollwardrobe.blogspot.com/2015/12/maple-insists-christmas-ornaments-bad.html

After that last post a couple followers unfollowed the blog,
so I know I am doing something right!

***If you don't have an appropriate sense of humor,
I don't recommend reading my "Maple Insists" posts, jfyi.***

So today I, Maple the Magnificent, discuss the "ugly" Christmas
ornaments I stirred up online.

Now, sometimes I have difficulty separating the "bad" from the "ugly,"
but after much deliberation, I think I ended up with a good group of uglies.

First...

Sometimes you just can't "un-see" things.

Even if you want to.

And this atrocious sock monkey is one of them.

I pre-apologize to everyone who loves this thing and bought five --

but good golly this thing is hideous.

I need some eye-bleach to rinse this out of my retinas.

And a concussion so my brain can forget about it.

Even this poor monkey's facial expression says:

"Please, kill me! I'm dead inside."

It would be a mercy killing.

And the worst part?

No, it's not the dead-eyes, nor the colors,

not even the bizarre appearance of underwear over the pajama bottoms. ???

No, it's not any of those things --
instead it is the weird circular

shapes over the sock monkey's boobies and crotch-region.

I don't even wanna ask -- but really Hallmark, you need

to have someone with a perverted mind look at your ornament prototypes.

It's all fine and good to use a circular design,

it's another thing entirely to have those circles align with certain body parts.

I mean, unless that's the kind of Christmas tree you are going for....

Next up, continuing with our animal theme...

Ever wonder what would happen if you combined a lion with an egg?

What? -
That never crossed your mind?

Well, apparently it crossed someone's mind.

Perhaps it was a drug-addled mind.

Yes.

A lion-egg with a straw afro.

And crazy eyes.

I won't tell you what I thought of immediately when I saw this,

but just imagine two of these lions side-by-side.

The adults will know what I am talking about.

AND, just in case you wanted a whole animal-egg zoo,

there are others to purchase....

Though I'm not sure why.

The only non-hideous one is the elephant.

Maybe someone designed that one first.

And then they went ahead with the others,

but really they shouldn't have.

And speaking of animals you shouldn't put on your tree...

This depressed tiger.

It was all going well, until they put a face on that thing.

They really shoulda just left him faceless.

He looks like how I feel after spending a month and a half

prepping for holiday that is here and gone in a matter of hours.

"Is that it?

Is that what all my hopes and dreams were riding on???"

Yes, my tiger friend.

And now you have to

a) pay off all that credit card debt you just racked up

buying gifts, and food, and decor and then

b) you have to prep your taxes.

And, again, if you want the complete zoo:

A hippo, about to eat that poor, shell-shocked tiger.

A giraffe with a neck and head that is just way too small.

A zebra about to give up on life.

I don't even know what that elephant is doing.

But I'm pretty sure that lion is trying to run away.

Right about now you are saying - "Well, they can't get much uglier, right?"

Wrong...

Aye.

Just. No.

I think this is a gourd or something, covered in knit alpaca hair.

It's so hideous.

This isn't a pleasantly plump Jolly Ol' St. Nicholas.

This is the "Super-Size Me" Santa with a gut so large he needs

a wheelbarrow, a crane, and a fire truck to get around.

No one should be that shape.

Even a make-believe fantasy character meant to make children behave.

And speaking of shapes people shouldn't be....

This gnome looks horrified.

He woke up to go skiing, but alas!

His body had turned into a pinecone!!!

And he never took another pee or poop again.

Why would someone make this?

Can't you see the silent scream of horror on his face?

Who thought this was a good idea for an ornament?

Probably the same person who thought this was a good idea...

So.

Majestic.

My synopsis of this: When sisal animals go too far.

This is another ornament that should have

never gone beyond prototyping.

His butt's a pinecone!!!

Why'd they think that would work??

And he has swizzle sticks for legs?!?!

I think I can see tears in it's eyes...

It's like the Christmas Ornament version of The Island of Doctor Moreau.

Some experiments should not be allowed to live.

___________

Alright.

That's all I got for my
"Christmas Ornaments: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" series.

(At least for 2015...)

I hope I have entertained the five of you
with a strong enough gut to read my Maple Insists posts.

I hope you all have lovely holidays and good vacations from school and work. :-)

Thanks for visiting us today friends!!!

Friday, December 18, 2015

Maple Insists:
Christmas Ornaments, The Bad...

Hello again everybody!

I am back with the continuation of
my festive Christmas ornament posts!

Bask in my glory!!!

This is my previous post:

http://thedollwardrobe.blogspot.com/2015/12/maple-insists-christmas-ornaments-good.html

(^^^ Read it if you haven't yet, you lazy sod.)

Today I discuss the "bad" ornaments I found

while I was perusing the 'net for doll-size things.

First up...

Is a mini Santa mug ornament with "hot cocoa"

and a star-shaped "marshmallow" inside of it.

This is very small:

1" W x 0.69" H x 0.75" D

So it might work for the dolls, but it may even be too tiny for them!

One of the online reviews stated:

"It looked weird in the pictures with the wink,

but the wink in person looks so much nicer!"

Really?

To us it just looks plain creepy.
The wink isn't helping any.

Creepy Santa says: "Stay away from my cocoa or I'll cut you."
*Wink*

-- That's what I thought of when I saw this puppy.

And also, there is the macabre situation of drinking

a steaming hot beverage out of Santa's head...cough, cough.

Plus, why is Santa wearing so much lipstick?

I'll let y'alls ponder that one on your own.

Next...

You remember the nutcrackers from World Market that we posted about previously?

And we mentioned that it is difficult to find a non-terrifying nutcracker?

Well, this is why...

I call this the "Prostate Exam Nutcracker."

This is the face he makes right after he asks the doctor:

"Where are you going to put your hand?!?!?!"

You could also label him "Electrocution Nutcracker."

Or "Acid Trip Nutcracker."

But really, in general -- all those names come down to one thing -- why would you want this incredibly non-comforting-looking-thing on your Christmas tree?

To scare Grandpa and give him a heart attack?

Really people, these things are Christmas decor,

not Halloween decor.

Get your Nutcracker act together, Hallmark.

The worst thing is that it's not just Hallmark -

most of the Nutcracker ornaments I found looked

just like this one with that face of utter shock right before

you get run over by Santa's reindeer.

Poor guy.

Third for today...

Are the most-pathetic-looking cat ornaments in the world.

I'm always on the look out for ornaments

that could be stuffed toys or pets for the dolls, but...

These are like the Christmas ornament versions

of those Sarah McLachlan commercials.

Why are their front legs so short?!?!?

What happened to these things?!?!

And what are they looking at?

Are they looking up into the heavens for the sweet release of death?

Or are they just looking at me to give them the food and medicine they so desperately need?

Gosh, so pathetic.

I feel pain in my soul just looking at the pics, never mind putting them on my tree.

Speaking of sad cat ornaments...

Yes.

Someone made that ^^^.

And a company is trying to sell it.

My goodness.

The earlier ones just looked like they needed a good cuddle.

This one looks like it needs Zoloft.

I don't understand -- is this supposed to be cute?

It just looks so depressed it is making me depressed.

I feel like they made the cat first -- realized it was horribly sad-looking --

and then someone in corporate was like --

"Well, just throw a red hat on it!!! That will make it festive!!!"

No, no it doesn't.

The hat just makes me wonder why this sad cat is wearing a hat.

Yeesh.

And lastly for today...

This is the part where children should stop reading and leave the room.

Are they gone yet?

For fox sake, get them out of the room.

"OBGYN Appt. Fox"

Why does a fox's legs need to be spread so very, very wide?

And why are they so very, very short?

Again, it's like someone designed the fox,

and then realized it was presenting itself for an annual Pap exam,

and was like -- "Oh Noes!!!!"

-- and then made the front legs A LOT longer

so that they would block the crotch shot.

Just, why?

Why?

You don't know what a fox looks like?

Do you see a lot of them sitting around

in the wilderness like this, airing out their nethers?

Someone at Pottery Barn needs a subscription to ZooBooks

so they can figure out the natural poses of foxes...

________

Alright, I'm done for today.

Phew. That was hard work.

Stay tuned for Part Three: "Christmas Ornaments, The Ugly..."

Yep, they get worse.

Thanks for visiting us today friends!!!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Maple Insists:
Christmas Ornaments, The Good...

Yep, it's Maple.

I'm back.

Today I wanted to continue the conversation about Christmas ornaments, as we count down to that glorious holiday full of fun and over-eating.

Previously we discussed some Christmas ornaments for sale at Sur La Table:

http://thedollwardrobe.blogspot.com/2015/11/shopping-warnings-for-sur-la-table-doll.html

(and how some of the ones we ordered from them have lead in them, jfyi.)

And we talked about ornaments at Walmart:

http://thedollwardrobe.blogspot.com/2015/11/check-out-local-shops-christmas.html

(some of those might have lead in them too, they just don't see it as necessary to inform you, because you are just a Walmart shopper and you're not as valuable to society as a Sur La Table shopper.)

(What? This is I, Maple, remember.

I don't believe in political correctedness.

Yes, I know I said that wrong.

That's how wrong I am.

I'm so wrong, I'm right.

Oooooo!!!!)

So anyways, I wanted to point out some other places to look for ornaments you can use for the dolls -- places like Hallmark and World Market.

Sometimes Crate and Barrel and Pottery Barn have some, but in recent years they have appeared less and less.

Basically, my advice is to just keep your eyes peeled in the Christmas ornament sections of stores. You never know what you'll find, and as we get closer to Christmas many of these ornaments will go on sale.

Some of the ornaments Hallmark is offering this year might work for the dolls -- but I can't make any guarantees because I haven't seen them in person.

I will include the measurements as well, so you can judge for yourself

(as everyone has different scale preferences).

This puppy plays 3 different holiday songs....

2.74" W x 1.93" H x 2.84" D

...when it feels like working.

A lot of the reviews seem to say that this puppy doesn't work for very long.

But eh, for the dolls - and if you get it on sale -- that doesn't matter much if you just want a cool-looking record player.

http://shop.hallmark.com/ornaments/keepsake-ornaments/musical-interactive-reindeer-rock-record-player-ornament-2295QGO1439.html

Hated the game Operation?

Us too!!!

Now you can hate it in doll-size as well!!!

2.12” W x 3.5” H x 0.78” D

http://shop.hallmark.com/ornaments/keepsake-ornaments/hasbro-operation-game-ornament-1795QXI2647.html

And you can continue to wake up at night in cold sweats

from nightmares of that buzzer noise.

Want a gingerbread house for your dolls without having to bake one?

2.75" W x 3.56" H x 2.81" D

Thar ya go!!!

http://shop.hallmark.com/ornaments/keepsake-ornaments/noelville-gingerbread-clock-shop-ornament-1995QX9167.html

Even includes a gingerbread man at the doorway with a bizarre frosting beard.

And one of my favorite Hallmark ornaments...

2.53" W x 3.62" H x 1.81" D

For those of us dolls who can't make it through the holidays without a good beer.

And also for those of us who love items with drinking deers on them.

"Cheers, Rudolph!"

"Cheers, Dasher, my ol' pal!"
*clink!*

It's pretty big, but, eh - steins come in all sizes.

http://shop.hallmark.com/ornaments/keepsake-ornaments/beer-stein-ornament-1495QGO1657.html

The one reviewer of this said: "This is the third one bought.

my grandson is in college so I think these are neat."

i.e. "My grandson drinks a lot, and I don't mind at all (because clearly I drink too)

so I give him these ornament steins! I think these are neat!"

The Doll Wardrobe Blog True Confessions Time:

Yes, we do own some doll-size steins.

Feel free to judge us, you judge-y people.

They sell a lot of doll-size steins in the Germany gift shops in EPCOT, down in Walt Disney World, Orlando, Florida, United States of America, Earth. (jfyi)

Us dolls don't actually drink though.

We're dolls, remember?

Crayons.

3.12” W x 2.64” H x 0.88” D